Do you have a lack of results?  It’s us, not you!  Except when you lack/violate one of the five aspects of our non-sexual relationship.  I’ll explain.

The good trainers and gyms genuinely believe that the clients results are almost entirely up to them.  KDR certainly believes it, as do I.  When someone doesn’t get results with us, it bugs us because we know we let them down.  We didn’t deliver on what we promised.

As much as I would like to believe it’s ALWAYS our fault, unfortunately, that’s not the case.  When you hire a trainer or join a gym, you are entering into an agreement –

From the consumer’s eyes – “In exchange for X (money, time, trade, etc.) from me, the client, I expect to get the tools I need to get the results I want.  In short, my expectations from this agreement are – accountability, guidance, education and the results I am paying you for.  I want what you promised me.”

The gym, trainer looks at it this way – “In exchange for X (money, time, trade, etc.) from you, the client, I promise to give you the tools you need to get the results you want.  I promise to give you what was promised and what your paying for.  As long as you agree to treat this agreement as a relationship.”

As a gym/coach/trainer I want as close to a romantic relationship, minus the intimacy, with our members/clients as possible.  Because it IS a relationship!  Let’s look at what a relationship is –

Well..that doesn’t really help.  So, I googled “what goes into a relationship”…that didn’t help either.  Here’s what I think goes into a non-sexual relationship:

  • Honesty/openness
  • Trust.
  • Hard work
  • Fun.
  • Discipline.

When the client misses one of those five key aspects of a relationship – they don’t get the results they want.  That’s not our fault, that’s yours.  That’s not to say they don’t get ANY results, just not all of them or as profound results as they could be.

Honesty/openness

The coaching process looks like this:

  1.  We collect as much info as possible about you – from lifestyle, to hurdles, to support structure, past injuries, etc.
  2. We interpret that data to figure out WHERE you currently are.
  3. Based on that, we give you a plan to follow.
  4. You give us feedback on the plan AFTER you do it.
  5. We tweak the plan, and so on and so on.

The coaching process is built off of honesty and openness.

Are you a smoker or an alcoholic?  We need to know that!  Just like a potential girlfriend/boyfriend needs to know your BIG faults right off the bat (yes…arguably smoking and daily heavy drinking to the point where it affects your life are generally considered big faults), so do we!  We had one person that lost a bunch of weight, stalled and then blamed us for it.  Turned out, after 6 months, he came clean and told us he was drinking a six pack of beer every night.  We were blaming our selves for the lack of his results when he lacked Honesty and Openness!

Then – what if the plan works, but your not working on the plan?  Did you tell us – “Hey, this plan is too hard for me to follow.”  Most of us have been in that situation where we met someone, spent some “time” with them (you all know what I mean by time…*wink wink*) to tell them that we’re “not ready” for a commitment right now.  That’s the same thing!  Your not ready to commit to eating 5 cups of veggies per day, great, say so up front.

As far as the openness goes – you need to be open.  Omission is just as bad as lying.  Just because we DON’T ask you about your abusive boyfriend/husband/wife/son/etc. (we have gotten them all) doesn’t mean you should hold that back from us when we talk about how important a support structure is.  Tell us everything!  Treat us just like you would that girl/boy your interested.  We want to know about YOU so that we can be in the best non-sexual relationship we can have.

If your not willing to be open and honest with us – you won’t see the results you want.

Be honest…maybe you like to dress up like Richard Simmon’s…that’s cool!  We understand.

Trust/integrity.

This one’s kind of self explanatory and goes along with honest/openness.  We need you to trust us, 100% because we have to trust you 100%.  We have to trust you to do the things you are telling us your doing and will do.  You have to trust that the information we are giving you is the correct information and plan for you.

That means – no second guessing us, no doing your own “research” (ugh…that’s the worse, reading about health is GREAT and encouraged, but, let’s be honest here…you have no idea if what your reading is actually true/factual/honest or if it’s just click bait – there to get you to click on something to generate traffic to their site.  Are you paying that source?  Then why would you listen to them?”) and NO changing the plan with out our consent.

You are paying us for a service – not Jackie next door who lost 10 pounds in 5 days doing a cactus cleanse.  Trust the process, your not the first one that’s gone through it.  If you don’t trust the process, we can’t trust you to follow the process.

We HAVE to trust you.  We can’t google “What’s Cathy really eating?” or “Where did Jim really go on Saturday night?”  It’s when things don’t add up.  We have had clients straight up LIE to us.  We know it’s a lie because their loved ones RATTED them out!  Red handed liars.  Know what happens after that?  Well…have you ever been cheated on?  It’s kind of hard to trust someone that has lied to you.

If your not willing to trust us, then we can’t trust you – and you won’t see the results you want.

Hard work

Working out is HARD WORK.  If your sweating, your probably working hard.  But, food prep is also hard work…so is saying no to that order of Nacho’s your best friend just ordered.  Being WELL-thy is HARD WORK!  It’s not easy, just look around you.  Being in a relationship is HARD WORK!  Did you put the seat down like she asked?  Did you do the laundry like she asked?

If you want a relationship to improve you have to put work in.

If you want your WELLTH to improve – you have to put hard work in.  Now, hard is a relative term.  What’s hard for me, might be IMPOSSIBLE for you.  That’s where openness, honesty and trust come in.  The gym/trainer is TRUSTING you to put HARD WORK in.  One thing is for certain with hard work – it’s outside your comfort zone.  If your not willing to step outside your comfort zone in any relationship, then that relationship is kind of a one sided gig…and it’s not going to grow, expand, evolve into something truly special.

If your not willing to step outside your comfort zone – you won’t see the results you want.

Fun.

This shit needs to be fun!  Hard work can be fun…sometimes it’s not…but sometimes it is!  Why would you want to be involved with someone that isn’t fun?  Because your miserable and you like to hang out with miserable people?  Well shit…don’t join our gym then!  Sometimes clients will show up in a bad mood, that’s ok, it happens!  They had a bad day at work, or whatever (as someone that has gone through some pretty heavy shit in my life…a bad day at work is nothing) It’s our job to turn that mood around.  But only if YOU the client are open to having fun and WANT that bad day turned around.  Sometimes…some people….just want to be UN-fun.  They don’t know anything else except pain, misery, tears, sorrow, etc.

If your not willing to have fun in this relationship – you won’t see the results you want.

If it’s not fun – then why do it?!

Discipline.

Structure creates freedom, you can just as easily put in discipline instead of structure.

This KIND of goes along with hard work.  But, it’s different.  You need SOME discipline to be Wealthy.  You have to say no to spending extra money.  The more discipline you have MAYBE the more money you save and the greater your wealth.

Getting WELL-THY is the same thing.  You need to have SOME discipline to say no to the treat Jackie brings in every Monday.  Now we can arm you to be successful in saying no, but only if we know about Jackie and then only if we know you are missing/lacking the tools of discipline in that situation.  We don’t expect 100% discipline…but we do expect 80%.  If you can’t be discipline 80% of the time, then you won’t get the results you want.

If you go away for a week to Vegas on a business trip with the stud muffin Ron from accounting or the hot chick Jamie from accounts receivable your significant other TRUSTS that you will be DISCIPLINED and not do the things that human beings sometimes do.  From their end it’s trust, but from your end it’s discipline.  We have to trust that you will be disciplined to follow the plan.

If your not willing to be disciplined 80% of the time – you won’t see the result you want.

Those 5 thing are where all relationships fall apart including your non-sexual trainer/gym relationship.

If you give us those 5 things, and you don’t get results, then it IS our fault and you deserve your money back.  That’s why we offer a money back guarantee on most of our programs.  If you follow those five points and you don’t get results with us – that’s on us, not you.  We should be punished for it!

KDR is a lifestyle gym that focuses on the accumulation of Well-th (that’s no typo, we all want to be wealthy AND arguably more important WELLTHY.  Just as wealthy is the accumulation of physical stuff, WELL-TH is the accumulation of health, fitness, wellness and well being.) through improving fitness, enhancing health, cultivating wellness and ultimately leading you to have a better sense of well being.

 

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Ben Dearman
Ben views fitness and nutrition as a journey and is the consummate educator. He has a BS in Exercise Science, has taken massage classes, is wrapping up his Masters in Nutrition and Performance and is constantly reading and educating the KDR Team and Members. In 2016 he was diagnosed with Cancer which cause him to radically change his views on health, fitness and lifestyle.
Ben Dearman

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