Can I have my drinks and my biceps?

Can I have my drinks and my biceps?

We’re a lifestyle gym, because of that, we deal with people’s lifestyles.  We often get asked, “Can I have my drinks and my biceps?”  The short answer is no, if your not willing to work for it.  If your not willing to change your lifestyle to accommodate the booze, then you need to cut it out.  In order to be Well-thy, you need to adjust your lifestyle and if your sucking down a six pack every night, that’s the first thing that needs to go.

But!  If your like me, you like to have some drinks one night a week and let loose.  Or sometimes…it’s a whole week like a few weeks ago during our wedding week.  Here’s how I boozed it up and maintained my biceps…cuz you know I love to flex.

The big day!

I recently spent 8 days in the Outer Banks, NC. It was an amazing trip! Lots of great food, booze, late nights, pool/beach and framily. Everyday was a party…and I am still catching up on sleep but it was so worth it. There are a few things that I negotiated with myself before hand.
– I didn’t want to feel bloated(hello bikini…everyday…thats pretty motivating), stuffed or sluggish.
– I wanted to enjoy my drinks AND good food without guilt…or regret.
– I would give up some zzz to spend time with my family and friends.
– I would drink lots of water, sometimes in the form of coffee and/or alcohol.  Yes…I did mix them together some mornings!

I think it’s important to make a plan. Boring I know! Hear me out though…

Structure Creates Freedom.

I made a deal with myself before we got there on what my negotiable’s would be, which in turn gave me some freedom to not get hung up on questions that would normally pop into my head like “should I eat that” or “should I have that beer or stick to the clear stuff?” In the past when I did that it just made me crazy compulsive and that sucked.

So what was my plan?

– Drink at least 24oz. of water every morning before coffee or booze.
– Make sure I got at least another 2 liters of water through out the day/night.

Water is actually one of the ways to REDUCE bloating and water retention caused by heavy alcohol consumption.  Isn’t that weird?  How does it work?  To be honest, I am not 100% sure.  Ben has explained it to me a few times, but like most of you, I care about the outcome not necessarily the reason behind it.  I know when I’m bloated and I drink water, in a few hours, my bloat goes away.  Think of it like this – your body is retaining water because it thinks it needs to, by giving it more water you are sending the message that there is plenty of water, so get rid of what your holding onto.

– Skip breakfast – most days I did this! Except the day after our wedding…I danced a LOT…I was starving the next morning. While skipping breakfast doesn’t work for everyone it works for me on most days. I usually eat some protein, fat and veggies by 11ish. Of course I have coffee!
– Eat lots of veggies and protein first as the first meal.
– Small plates – I always pick a small plate or bowl. If I am still hungry I can get more…but usually I am not it helps me from over eating.
– Veggies! I know I mentioned this before BUT I can’t emphasize enough how important and amazing veggies are.
– Don’t eat too many cookies!

We had a cookie bar for the wedding instead of a cake…I only had a couple;)

– I didn’t exercise once – the one day everyone did a workout I was hungover…got a little carried away the first night 😉
– I did spend everyday (for hours) in the pool.
– The house was huge (18 bedrooms with 4 flights of stairs) and our room was on the third floor…I would run or walk them probably over a dozen times per day if not more.

– I danced 4 nights until my feet hurt. Yes…we did…bring our own DJ!
– OH! I almost forgot our push-up contest. Thats where the biceps come in! One of my favorite body weight movements.

Push-Up contest!

– Limit beer intake.  Beer = bloating.
– Stick to the clear stuff – vodka = no bloat/less calories.
– Have water between drinks or on hand with booze.
– Eat clean food – veggies/fruit/protien/some fat.

3 games at once! It was a killer beer pong tournament.

Supplements – on vacation? Yes!
– While I didn’t take all of the usual supplements I did take the ones that would be helpful for recovering.
– Magnesium – I take 2 every night before I go to sleep.
– NuSera – for stressful moments – psst…what stress?
– Digestive enzymes.

I forgot to mention that we arrived on Sunday and our wedding was on Thursday…my dress?! Had to fit! The old me would have not come up with a plan, stressed about it and been miserable. Instead I created some freedom for myself…free from stressing out about food, exercise, what to drink or not to drink. Instead I spent the week laughing, crying, and making memories with my friends and family.






You can have your booze and biceps, but first you need to get biceps.  That might mean you need to cut the booze out for a while.  And let’s be honest, there is no diet out there that allows you to have unlimited amounts of alcohol during the week and still look good.  That’s why our members love us so much, we teach them how to have the booze and the biceps.  We’re a lifestyle gym – not a prison!

Do you want to learn more about KDR?  Sign up for a free strategy session and we will answer any questions you have!  Just click the picture below to get started.

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Improve your balance with skipping

Improve your balance with skipping

At the end of our RAMP (Range of Motion, Activation, Movement Prep…fancy way of saying warm up) we have some movements that improve your balance through locomotion.  These movements are basic play ground exercises like skipping, side shuffling, cross over, 360 runs, etc.  It’s amazing how many people can’t skip!  We do this to help our members improve their balance (among other things).  Prevent falling is one of the more common goals we hear from our older members.

Locomotion is simply moving from one point to another point, i.e. running.

Falling is a real fear as you age.  Falling is also a real fear if your weak.  I have VERY good balance from years of wrestling, Judo and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.  When I was going through chemo, I would often lose my balance JUST WALKING DOWN STAIRS.  If you want to feel what it will be like when you get older with no exercise…go through 2 months of chemo.  Eye opener.

Why do we fall?  Simple – because we lose our balance!  However, WHAT causes us to lose our balance?  Well…that doesn’t really matter.  That’s the wrong question to ask, the right question is – how do I prevent myself from falling.  That one is simple – improve your dynamic and static balance.  And getting stronger, that tends to help with everything.

Static and Dynamic Balance

True story!  As you age, you get weaker if your not working on getting stronger, that’s just a natural thing that occurs.  Well, as your muscle mass/strength decreases, so does your ability to hold your self up right on one leg – static balance.  Now for most people static balance isn’t the issue because it’s rare that someone just falls over from losing their balance standing still.  That’s called passing out…and we can’t really train you to prevent that.

Chris working on his dynamic balance with some lateral skips.

Dynamic balance is the issue.  How many times have you heard – “I was walking and lost my balance, fell and hurt my arm/knee/hip/back, etc.” from a friend or older family member?  A lot i bet!  That’s dynamic balance – as you move from one leg to the other are you able to keep your center of gravity and mass between your legs and not outside your base of support.

Falling is an uncontrolled run, because all running is a controlled fall.  Try it.  Try to run with out leaning forward, you don’t really go very far.  You must lose your balance ever so slightly, catch your self and then continue that…it’s just a series of falls.  Now, running it’s self won’t improve balance because people tend to fall when they CAN’T RECOVER FROM LOSING THEIR BALANCE.  Remember – walking is a controlled fall.  We can fall great, but its when we can’t recover that we actually cause an injury to our self.

That’s where things like skipping, side shuffling, backwards running, etc. all come into play.  By practicing those movements we haven’t done since we were kids we improve our dynamic balance, help ward against fall related injuries AND get to practice a skill we haven’t used in a while which helps the brain stay young.  Plus, it’s a lot of fun!  I dare you to skip with out smiling!

So…check out this short video on WHY we locomote after our RAMP and to hear a little bit more on dynamic balance.

Did you like what you read?  Are you inserted in learning more about KDR?  Have you heard great things about us and just want to jump into a trial?  Click on the picture below to learn more about our 30 day for $99 trial.


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Are your X-ray and medical imaging results helpful or harmful?

Are your X-ray and medical imaging results helpful or harmful?

We don’t just help people lose weight, we also help them feel better and get them out of pain.  Sometimes that involves hearing second hand what their doctors have said to them using x-ray or medical imaging results to base their opinions off of.  Often times we ask ourselves – do these x-ray and medical imaging results help or harm our clients?
  • We hear this a lot –
  • “my doctor said I am bone on bone”
  • “my doctor said I need a joint replacement”
  • “my doctor said…blah…blah…blah.”
First, understand our stance on Medical Doctors – they are not god.  What they say is based on years of developing critical thinking skills in the medical arena.  For the most part that’s what a doctor does – they look at the situation, acquire information, interpret that information and then use critical thinking skills to determine the best course of action.  Their word is not gospel, they are human and therefore can/do make mistakes AND their bias (like everyone’s) plays heavily into their treatment plans.
A mechanic will often tell you your car needs work – a surgeon will often tell you that you need surgery.
Doctors are no different.
Of course they have your best interest at heart (hopefully), however, there is one hurdle all doctors must overcome – exposure.
What does that mean?
If you come to KDR 4 times a week every week for a year that’s 208 visits, that’s 208 times that we are exposed to you.  How you move, how you carry yourself, how you respond to physical/emotional stress, how you eat, how easy it is to get you to change, etc.  We have more exposure in one year to a single person then they will most likely have to the entire medical community in their lifetime.
So, we see the people that are “bone on bone” or “hip replacement candidates” and let me just say – it’s not as bad as the doctor makes it out to be.
This is a great video explaining that.  Most doctors (excluding PT’s, but their job isn’t to interpret imaging results) have no idea of how the body works when it comes down to skeletal muscle systems impacting the whole body.  Sure your knee might be riddled with arthritis but that’s because your glutes are weak, your ankles are tight and your hamstrings are locked down…all leading to your knee having problems with how it works with the rest of the body.  Just because something is “bone on bone” doesn’t mean you’re screwed!
Take 6 minutes – watch this video.  Please.  If you’re going through a situation where you are in pain and the doctor has taken imaging of you to back up his explanation of why you’re in pain, you need to watch this.  Don’t go that surgery route!
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Busy?  Then you probably shouldn’t be doing any…

Busy? Then you probably shouldn’t be doing any…

I think there are three classifications of working out that correspond to different parts of the year/your schedule – training, working out and exercise.  If your super busy, then you probably shouldn’t be doing any training.
Training is goal focused, time committed, DRIV-ICATION!
Let me explain further.  I have a lot going on right now – Jamie and I are getting married IN EXACTLY ONE MONTH!!!  Holy shit balls.  Plus, it’s been about 6 months since my last chemo round AND I am getting back into the gym full time.  From January of last year to March of this year I lost over 10 pounds of muscle.  That sucked.  I worked hard to gain that mass and it was heartbreaking to see my body whither away from the chemo.
Side Note – The weight didn’t didn’t wither away that much, but rather I lost muscle and gained a substantial amount of fat.  Cachexia be damned!  Cachexia is muscle wasting/weight loss associated with chemo.  Well, I lost the muscle but gained some fat thanks to my little friend (maybe I will talk more about him later 😉
fitness training

It was tough going from this…

To this.

After chemo, I was READY to start TRAINING.  But first, I had to build my body back up, so I started with EXERCISING before moving into WORKING OUT, then I TRAINED to get my lean body mass back.
Which incidentally was ALMOST a success, I gained about 7 pounds of the 10 I lost.  The other 3 pounds will come back eventually, but not right now.

I will get my guns back.

The exercising consisted of walking and biking with some light resistance training and yoga.  Truth be told, I was just happy to be able to get out of the house without throwing up.  That lasted for roughly 3 months, from September to December.  In December and January, I started to work out.  I pushed it harder, incorporated more resistance training and more interval training.  In February I started TRAINING.

I was so happy to finally be able to just WALK with out getting winded.

From November to May my goal was to get back down to under 15% body fat (from over 20%), get my lean body mass back up to 150 pounds (from 140) AND work on getting my strength back (interestingly my strength came back much faster in my upper body than my lower body).  PLUS I wanted to start my new life.  They say that after you go through cancer treatment you are never the same.
I can say I agree with that 100%.  The old Ben is gone, he was burned off with the cancer cells.  The new Ben is still trying to figure out where he fits in all of this.  But god damn it if he doesn’t have close to his old body back!
As of April 14th – I hit almost all of those goals.  Now I could still lean out a little bit more before the wedding, however, I am choosing to drop back to just working out and moving away from training for the next month.  And, I am still trying to figure out who the new me is, but it’s coming along.
Here’s why – I am busy.  Busy with planning the wedding.  Busy with working more.  Busy with getting my life back.
This time last year I was losing my hair, starting my 2nd round of chemo and watching the world go by around me while I sat and played video games, watched Netflix (it might sound like fun, but going from a very driven and healthy state to not having enough energy to walk and talk wasn’t fun….and trust me on this fellas, while it may seem like your missing playing video games and vegging out, no one got healthy and/or successful by just doing that) and counted down the days until my next treatment.
When you wake up and have every day like that…watching the world around you change and evolve and your looking down at your fingernails bending back while you’re trying to open a can of club soda…it can be pretty depressing.
Let’s review the three stages of working out before we get deeper.  Understand that you should NEVER just “go to the gym” without a goal in mind.  Whether that goal is to improve your body composition, get stronger or just to stave off aging, there should always be a goal.
1.  Training –
You are 100% focused on your goal, nothing can get in your way.  You want to lose 10 pounds, or improve your deadlift, or do a tough mudder, etc.  This level requires time, commitment and probably a pretty hefty dose of improving/working on your diet. You are 100% focused on your goal, nothing can get in your way.  You want to lose 10 pounds, or improve your deadlift, or do a tough mudder, etc.  This level requires time, commitment and probably a pretty hefty dose of improving/working on your diet.
2. Working out –
You are focused on your goal…but maybe not committed to it.  While working out your goal is to keep at least 80% of the results you got up to this point, ideally 90%.
3.  Exercising –
You think about your goal, but realize that right now, it’s probably best just to go in, get a workout in to maintain your results and go home.
Training is meant to happen for 4-16 week blocks.  Why 4-16 weeks?  Because most people have a life.  Training takes 100% focus on yourself.  You have to get those workouts in, you have to (maybe) get those calories in or really focus on your diet.  Life needs to take a back seat because you are FOCUSED 100% on that goal related to your body.

Not the time to be training for anything…except to SURVIVE!

Working out is a step down from training.  Are you supposed to get 4 workouts in?  Maybe you get 3 this week plus an at home circuit.  Are you supposed to eat 4 meals or hit 2000 calories?  Maybe you were just too busy to really focus on eating.  During the working out stage, the diet tends to take the first hit as that’s the most time-consuming.
Exercising?  Well now, that’s party season.  If you are a dedicated gym goer, you probably won’t ever really get to this level and instead bounce around between working out and training.  Exercising is moving around with the goal of improving your baseline health.  Walking, swimming, jogging, cycling, some group fitness classes, etc.  Those are all examples of exercising.  The diet during exercising tends to be in the lines of “what diet?”.  Another way to think about exercising is what you do if you go on a week long vacation.  You enjoy your vacation life while still being active.  At least that’s what KDR members are told to do!
  • You need time to TRAIN.
  • You need less time to work out.
  • You need even less time to exercise.

What happens if you FORCE yourself to train during a time you should be working out?

 1. First – nothing bad.  That’s called driv-icated, or a mix of driven and dedicated…to yourself.  We can’t be driv-icated 100% of the time because we would have no friends, no life and no future outside of whatever we are focused on.
But, because training takes a lot out of you, you must pay that back.  If your goal is to really:
  • – Lose weight.
  • – Build muscle.
  • – Change your body.
You need to prioritize nutrition, sleep, and gym.  Not in that order, but pretty close.  If you’re in the gym 5 hours a week, plus prepping and food shopping for 3 hours per week and prioritizing your sleep (which means 8 hours per night minimum) AND working an 8-hour job…that’s a lot.  Probably don’t want to be doing that while you’re trying to stay cool organizing a wedding.  That’s time for working out.
2. Second – you will often times either get injured, spin your wheels without making progress, get frustrated at your results and at the worse…waste your time.
If you’re truly training for something then you need to recover WAY more then you need to train.  And recovery is essentially stress management and destress strategies.  Understand that the body identifies stress as anything that moves it out of homeostasis, from winning the lottery to being attacked by a bear…it’s all the same hormones and stress response by the body.  So if your fighting over table placement or working on lifting your personal best in the squat…you need to recover from that stress.
Bottom line for me (and probably some of you reading this) – I can’t continue to work out 3 days per week HARD in the gym for an hour, and do an hour of cardio per week, plus 90 minutes of yoga AND count my calories and get 8 hours of restful sleep…4 weeks before I get married and short staffed.
I need to go back to working out while still focusing on my diet and sleep.  But, the workouts need to be less than 45 minutes strength training (just like our small group workouts) AND about 20-30 minutes of interval training (just like our team training classes).  We’re so smart at KDR.
So – here’s my question for you.  Look at your schedule, do you honestly have AT LEAST 4 weeks to commit to a pursuing a goal and TRAINING.  4 weeks where nothing is coming up, no plans and you can commit to yourself 100%?  Maybe you have 8 weeks…then do our 8 week Eat to Lose challenge.
But if you don’t have 4 weeks, that’s ok, that doesn’t mean you stop going to the gym, that means you just work out and focus on keeping 80% of your progress.
fitness training
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Rage against the dying of the light!

Rage against the dying of the light!

Rage against the dying of the light!  Dylan Thomas wrote a great poem called “Do not go gentle into that good night”, about aging and our quest to stay young.  It goes like this:

Do not go gentle into that good night, 
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.


Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.


Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

What does it mean?

I have always liked that line, however, after Cancer, the poem holds a lot more importance to me.  This poem means two things to me:

  1. Fight to stay young, fight with everything you have.  From the day you wake up to the day you die you should be striving to improve your health while having as much fun as you can.  Someone should be as capable (with in reason) when their 80 as when their 30.  You should be partying like a rock star, chasing women or men, taking journeys, building memories and kicking ass when your 80!
  2. Strive to create a legacy.  Work towards creating as big of an impact as you can.  Obviously you can’t take it with you.  You are remembered by the people you touched and the impact you made on individuals.  Make peace with the end, the only way to do that is to live a life that was justified by what you did to help your fellow human beings.

My mom is one of the strongest women I know, and I have trained A LOT of strong women.

My aunt (on the left) and my mom.  Open your eyes mom!

Her ex-boyfriend died before her eyes in his bed, and her current boyfriend is slowly dying from brain cancer.  Yea…that one hits home a little too hard.  I talk to her weekly (ok maybe not weekly, but damn it I try!) and she fills me in on Brad’s fight.  One of the underlying points that always comes up – his sometimes rapid decline and his inability/desire to fight the disease.

I can relate, I know what it’s like to get cancer “treatment” (bunch of fucking poison they either inject into you or shoot at you, or if your lucky enough…they just cut a piece of you away) and be so tired that you can’t get out of bed.  Sickness so bad that you can’t eat.  Depression so deep that you don’t want to move.  But those were all passing moments with me – I always said to my self – “Fight, fight against the dying of the light.”  I know where Brad is coming from.

That smile didn’t last long.

My Docs told me that it was because of my health that “treatment” hit me so hard and it was because of my health that I was able to bounce back so fast.

What is youth?

Youth is the ability to do whatever you want with little to no thought of the consequences, in my opinion.  Call it ignorance, or call it just not giving a shit.  It’s the same thing at the end of the day.

We deal with all sorts of people that have all sorts of goals.  I think the most common goal has to do with aging, specifically how to slow down aging or how to prolong our youth.

Basically – people want to do what they want to do with out worrying about “Is this going to hurt?  Am I going to get injured?  Will I be successful doing this hike/run/race/journey/job?”

Jamie and I built KDR out of a desire to help as many people as possible slow aging.  We didn’t think of it at the time, we thought of it as helping people accomplish a goal.

We were young and fearless in our 20’s.

One of the first talks I ever did at our old space.  Still got it baby!

Now were approaching 40, still young and fearless, but a lot wiser.  We understand now that people may want to lose weight and gain muscle, but ultimately it all comes back to staying as young as you can for as long as you can.

ONE of our legacies

We used (ok we still do) to get upset when someone invested thousands of dollars on their heath/goal in a year and quit the gym.  We are a small business where the owners are right there with the employees.  We get to know our customers, sometimes, very intimately.

We share stories with them, we share beers with them and once in a while we share tears with them.  We share our lives with them.  You can’t help it, we see our members on average 10 times a month, that’s over 100 times a year.  That’s more then they will see their doctor in their life, in one year.  We have the ability (more so then any other profession) to change someones life.

There isn’t a lot of places like that.  Members (or as we like to call them our “fit-fam”) come and members go, they quit for all sorts of reasons.  Sometimes we would hear – “Don’t worry, I will still work out.  I am just going to go over to X gym instead.”  We know they usually don’t.  They usually just stop.  They stop working out.  They stop caring about what they eat.  They stop trying to fight aging, they decide to go gently into the night.

Your health is the only investment that you are guaranteed a return on.  Every second that you spend on your health, every penny, will add minutes on to the end.  No investment gives you that kind of return.

People like our gym because we are the only gym in the area that actually cares if you miss a work out, or don’t fill out your food journal, or are in pain, or don’t get results…or aren’t happy.  We hear “I have never been to another gym like KDR before.”  We know when that person says, “I am going to continue to work out” that a HUGE majority of the time, they won’t.  Most of our members accomplish their goals because of the camaraderie and accountability we offered.

That’s what we do.  We help people stay young.

Don’t go gently into that good night.  RAGE, RAGE against the dying of the light.


If you liked what you read and want to take advantage of our 30 day trial for $99 or want more info about our gym just click on the link below.  If you want more info, when it gets to the check out section, don’t pay.  One of our fantabulous coaches will get in touch with you to setup a FREE strategy session.

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It’s not about the weight loss

It’s not about the weight loss

Think weight loss will make you happy? Sometimes thats not the case.

As per my oncologists recommendations I take Yoga twice per week.  It’s a one on one session…I don’t like group yoga, but that’s a different story.  Nicole (my yoga instructor) and I were talking at the end of the work out today, yeah, it’s a work out for me.  I used to be able to press 185 pounds over my head, now I can’t hold a down ward dog for more than about 20 seconds. and weight loss/happiness came up.  We both came to the same conclusion…it’s not about the weight loss.

The wheel of happiness/life.

Nicole used to do a lot of life coaching where weight loss would be an aspect of it. Her clients would draw a spoked wheel and put different aspects of their life in it.  It would look something like this…


She then would have her clients put a dot into each respective triangle to represent where they felt they were at.  Closer to the inside (bulls eye) meant they were happier with that aspect.  Closer to the outside meant they weren’t that happy.

We are a lifestyle gym

We don’t necessarily do “life coaching” at KDR, we do “lifestyle coaching”.  KDR Fitness is a lifestyle gym.  We believe getting people to adjust their diet + fitness and providing health education = healthy lifestyle. People that are healthy tend to be happy.  The people that focus on those three points; their diet, their fitness and learning about health will tend to experience much better weight loss.


We believe that if you are healthy, you are happy and you will in turn experience better weight loss.  And if you’re not…then maybe you need to look at your priorities.  This is coming from someone who has been at the VERY high level of health and at the absolute rock bottom level of sickness.  I wouldn’t trade my health and the ability to do any physical thing I want for a million dollars.



If someone were to say, “hey, I’ll give you $1,000,000.00 in exchange for your health.”  I wouldn’t even bat an eye when saying no.

Our wheel would look like this:


The wheel of Health/happiness – I know it’s a little rough, but you get the idea.  Notice how I didn’t put WEIGHT on there.  If you focus on improving the other areas, your weight will naturally fall.  But, if you focus on just losing weight, it’s unlikely you will make a change in any of the other areas.

Health begets happiness in our opinion.  It’s rare to see someone that is truly healthy and NOT happy.  But you can find tons of people that have GI issues, aches/pains, arthritis, bloating and are miserable assholes.


Makes sense really…can you be happy if your always in pain or uncomfortable.  Some of us can, but a large percentage of us can’t.

Break it down

From a practical stand point, we see this all of the time when people come in and they say “I am unhappy because I am over weight.”  We ask them how much weight do they want to lose to be happy.  We inevitably get some kind of arbitrary number like 10 pounds or 40 pounds.  This is usually followed by “When I weighed this much was when I was the happiest.”  Often times they are neglecting/forgetting big points of that memory, such as:

  1. Age – Yes, Xenia (I had a hard time coming up with a name that we have never had in the gym) when you were 25 and you weighed 120 pounds you probably were a hell of a lot happier then you are now at 40 and weighing 200 pounds.
  2. Life situation – I can see how you might be the happiest at 20 and weighing 120 pounds WITH NO responsibilities with the ability to just peace out and do what you want at the drop of a hat would be a happier place then now, at 40, with kids a husband a mortgage payment and a career..and carrying an extra 80 pounds.
  3. Sex/self-esteem – this isn’t rocket science. When we get laid more, we tend to be a lot happier and by default that makes us feel better through enhancing our self-esteem.  I don’t think it’s about the sex (of course that plays in to it) per se, I think it’s about the attention.  As we settle into relationships we tend to often get LESS attention.  Sometimes, people will come to us saying they want to lose weight.  In reality, they want more attention from their significant other. They think that it’s because they are overweight that they aren’t getting that attention.  Bottom line – they want to get laid more.  I have a number of women over the years tell me that (after some digging and trying to get to the root of their motivation) during our initial intakes.

e1c1bb4ac8af2d0f47af5bd6403c1a60Studies show…

The number is not what they are really saying.  What they are really saying is, I am unhappy in one of the areas (or more than one) in the spoke.  We see that confirmed, they lose the weight and are STILL unhappy!  Or, they lose the weight, and then put it back on.  Or even worse, they see success, become happier, quit the gym, and go right back to being miserable.

We have seen a LARGE amount of members come to us for weight loss goals, lose a large amount of weight, look better then 90% of the population and STILL be miserable and unhappy.


You can increase (i.e. move your dot closer to the middle) and not influence any of the other dots.  It’s only when you influence more than one dot that the others move as well.

Be honest with your self about your goals.  We think EVERYONE should be a member of our gym, but sometimes, we just can’t help someone because they aren’t really coming to us for weight loss or to be healthier.  They are coming to us because they are unhappy with an aspect of their life that is outside their health and they think losing weight is going to fix that.

Make your own “Happiness” wheel using Nicole’s model and ours.  See where you fall.  Work on the things that are towards the outside.  That doesn’t mean STOP or DON’T work on the ones you are strong at, it just means that sometimes, improving your strengths, doesn’t improve your weaknesses.


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